Fall and Falling

It is PEAK FOLIAGE time in Maine and wowzers...it's so darn pretty outside. I have been just thrilled to be outside the last couple of weeks. I do love summer but fall is just so pretty!

A river in Kennebunk ME

My favorite playground, near Sugarloaf USA

I was out of town for a wedding this past weekend and had the chance to ride with 2 amazing fella's - the FM Brothers I'll call 'em - up in the Maine mountains. It was a balmy 35* and pouring rain so obviously we had to get out and do some mountain biking on the trails of Carrabassett Valley. Now, these two guys have been riding a long time. FM1 was a former semi-pro crit cyclist and long time mtn biker and FM2 (and my personal MTB coach and favorite adventure dude) has been riding those trails for years and was a mtb bike coach.

My babies, my QR and my EVA

on Eva on a dry day this summer

A girl and her bike, always ready for ADVENTURES

FM1 brought his Specialized Fat Bike to ride and FM2 stuck with his favorite hard tail. I had my beautiful Raleigh Eva from Kennebunkport Bicycle Co of course.

Me with the FM boys, the route we rote and my hot tea

We got bundled up and rode right out of the house to the trails. I was a bit nervous riding with these two veterans in slippery conditions to be honest, but...I was able to hang on we had a blast. We were SOAKED and very cold...and we opted to take the road back to save some time but as soon as we hit the road, the headwind was super cold AND it was some slow going for sure, increasing the hypothermia factor greatly. While FM1 took off flying down the road, FM2 and I snuck off and hitched a ride home with a friend down the road. IT was THAT wet and cold.

Before long, I was stripping off the cold, wet layers and warming up with a cup of tea in front of a roaring fire! Ahhh....

Even in the freezing rain, I had a blast out there riding. I am SO loving mountain biking and I cannot believe I waited so long to hit the trails. I was so afraid of injury while training for so many big triathlon races...now I can see how it will just make me a much better athlete overall. Plus, it really is my happy place.

This week I got out for some running miles in the sunshine...and trails! I will let the pics speak for themselves.

I managed to keep my falls to 3 and the last one, I jammed my arm into a tree root pretty well (bruised) and managed to put a tear into my favorite light weight running tights. I was still smiling though...I stopped at 4 miles to enjoy a little break on this bridge and stretch, plank and just look around.

Blessed. Every day.

WHAT IS MAKING YOU SMILE THIS WEEK??

Thursday, 1/1/15

Happy New Year.



Today is the first day of 2015. Lots of people will make resolutions to do this or do that.
Get organized. 
Lose weight.
Get a new job. 
Something.



Lots will follow that plan for a few weeks...or even a few months. Most will fall off and go back to what they know. Some will be successful with what their goals. Others will build habits that last a lifetime and inspire others to do the same.

I have a secret to tell you. YOU DO NOT NEED A NEW YEAR TO DO DIFFERENT.
Guess what you need? A new moment. A new day. A new hour. A new week. That's all you need. You can decide to make a positive change in your life ANYTIME you choose.

This past year has been one of learning and growing. At times, confusion and hurt. Loss.
I felt lost a few times...only to find my way back to "normal" as I always do. I am a fighter. A warrior.

I look back on my early days of change (which happened in September, by the way...) and I am so proud of myself for sticking with it...and I know that a new year wasn't needed. only a new attitude.

And now that I face 2015 with honest eyes...I have to let go of things that do not serve me. Of things that do not bring me joy and embrace scary change. being uncomfortable. New starts and new relationships.

It's easy to get stuck in comfortable just for the sake of being comfortable but when you take a deep, hard look at things...are you truly happy. or just in statis? homeostasis and a very easy place to be.

It's hard to be vulnerable. OPEN. abject to being hurt.

and I guess that is where I want to put myself.

But putting myself in the way of "harm" will also bring me to absolute happiness. JOY. Pleasure.
Being...

So I open my heart to "what ifs" and the unknown. The mystery of what lies ahead and possibility of being hurt in the process.

So...live fearless. Don't be scared of what the unknown can bring. Embrace the new. Work on yourself daily. There is no rest for improvement.

Find those people that make your heart happy.
Your face smile.
You heart light up.

And when you do meet the person who makes your cells dance, you will be sure of it.

Fantastic :15

Cutting Off Limbs {reload}

...cuTTiNg oFF LiMbS...

Big or small, we all have had limbs that need to be cut--It doesn't matter if you needed pruning shears or a commercial chainsaw.

A few years after I moved into my house, I decided that I wanted to plant more trees. I only had 2, so I added 3 more. I chose specific trees for specific spots for specific reasons. At first, each of my new trees had stakes with wires that wrapped around the trunk. I didn't like the way it looked but I knew that it was important in order for them to grow straight and be protected when storms or high winds came. Soon, it was time to remove the support system. My trees were big enough to stand alone.

After a couple of years, I was excited to see that my trees began to grow...so much so that they needed trimming. My brother, that doubles as my handyman, explained how you know what branches to cut off. Any branches that were too low or growing down or even small branches growing inward, needed to be trimmed off because they were taking "energy" away from the healthy branches and doing nothing to help the tree become bigger and stronger. It's important to not wait too long because as long as there are branches that need trimming still there...they are taking energy and nutrients away from the branches that are good. And if you never trim the tree, it will never become as big or strong or beautiful as it COULD have been.

Back in February, I did something I thought I would never do...something I thought I would never need to do. I started seeing a therapist. My marriage was a mess and demons from the past were haunting me. I felt like I needed someone to talk to that didn't know me and wouldn't judge me. I still remember the first day sitting in a strange room...on an old ugly couch...looking at a stranger...as I wept uncontrollably and tried to tell her all the things that have hurt me or that are bothering me...in an hour. I am a control freak. I like to have control because there were times as a child when I had all my power taken from me...times when I should've been protected but I wasn't...feelings I felt that were not feelings I should have been feeling at that age. And so I try to have as much control now as I can, even though it doesn't change the past. I like to do things how I want to do them...when I want to do them. I like to always look just right and stay composed when I can. I felt so out of control...so ugly...so damaged. This was completely out of my comfort zone, but there was something strangely comforting at the same time about just getting it all out...telling all my secrets...admitting my shame...letting myself be vulnerable.


After I purged myself of all the things that were bothering me...I quickly began to try and regain control by telling the therapist what exactly I was doing to make changes and try to correct these problems. I told her how hard it was/is and how disappointed and upset some people were with me. I told her that I felt alone and scared. Finally, when I let her speak, she looked at me surprisingly unfazed and said,

"You have been hurt badly. You have held it in and made the choice to never use these things as an excuse to protect everyone else and keep a sense of pride. No one would ever believe the things that you have suffered because you have covered them up so well. Now, you have chosen to correct this by cutting off the things and people that cause you pain. The problem is that you are like a tree that hasn't ever been pruned. Instead of getting rid of these things as they came, you waited and let them continue to grow. You had so many limbs to cut off that you now feel very bare and very alone."

This made perfect sense. I had let things grow that should have been cut off sooner and made some huge changes in my life. It wasn't until the secret pain became unbearable that I finally did something about it...and I did it all at once. It has been scary to make these decisions and hard to deal with the consequences that have followed, but every day is a little better. New branches are growing where old, unhealthy ones were and the people that love me are learning to accept my changes and love me unconditionally.

So, you probably wonder what this has to do with anyone other than me. It's a warning if you will. Don't let unhealthy "branches" grow on your "tree" because it seems too hard to get rid of them. Take the things out of your life that weigh you down or keep you from reaching your true potential. Don't have friends that don't accept your commitment to eat and live healthy. Don't surround yourself with jealous people that want to drag you down. Avoid unhealthy relationships that cause you to doubt your worth and rob you of your goals. And when you do need to cut off branches, be brave. Value yourself enough to put in the work it takes to be your best. Don't be afraid of feeling alone at times or vulnerable, because in time you will be glad you made the changes. Finally, don't be too proud to ask for help. When trees have large branches that break or need to be removed, sometimes it takes a professional because the job is too big to do on your own. Rely on the people that care about you to help you make changes. 

I cannot take credit for this blog post--but it is one of those powerful messages that I think everyone should read and anyone could apply to their own life. 
I just had to share. From the blog STRONG IS THE NEW SKINNY

Just as it takes pruning to help a tree grow tall and strong, it takes making uncomfortable changes in our own lives to become the person we are meant to be. After the struggle...because of the work it takes to get there...in the end...we will become stronger than we ever thought possible

~Jen

My Sunday Run with Chrissie Wellington! (and other stuff)

Another week in the books of 2010 and another week that did not go quite as planned.
The week started out promising-I got in a couple quick, short runs (3 & 4 miles) and then a couple brick workouts. I did not hit the weights since I was planning on lifting heavy Friday and Saturday but you know what they say about the best laid plans...
While I was able to get in some quality miles, some speed work and got my butt on the bike I did not get in all the workouts planned. I had a 54 mile week: 28 miles running and 26 miles on the stat bike.
Friday night I could FEEL the cold coming on--that thick headed feeling, a bit of a sore/scratchy throat. Sure enough, I woke Saturday morning with a full on head cold. So I skipped the gym session and decided to keep my running date with Dawn. Luckily, she told me on Friday that she was not really digging doing hill repeats so the running Rx was changed to nice-n-easy.
Saturday was gorgeous! Sunny and 60's~we met up down at the strip in Old Orchard Beach and ran down to Pine Point and back--an easy 6 miles: flat, perfect weather and great company. I stripped down to my tank top quickly, that's how nice the weather was!
I think that Dawn is getting used to the fact that in the middle of our run there is usually going to be a pee break for me. I don't really care too much where-I do have a modicum of modesty so I do try to be discreet about it. I run off into the woods or hide behind a building or something. Saturday's pee break was no different. We came upon a seasonal condo across from the beach that looked vacant. Soooo....I walk behind the vacant condo, dash behind a tool shed! PERFECT, no one can see me here. Except the cargo train barrelling towards me along the tracks honking it's horn!! By this time, there is no aborting this mission so...I guess the train got a free show!
I felt really good while running and on the way home, I could feel the chill invading my body. I got home and made a steaming hot bowl of veggie soup and then joined Lola for nap time!
Sunday I was still feeling ICK. Hubby had some stuff to do around the house so I got errands done in the morning. By lunch time, I was feeling the itch to get out and run. You HAVE TO take advantage of any warm weather Mother Nature has to offer in November here in Maine. I planned on an easy 5-6 miles. Grabbed the ipod and went out the door with a plan to listen to fellow Mainer, Jason and his podcast Mainely Triathlon. Got the old ipod fired up and dang it! The only episodes on que were the ones I listened to last week. That left me with 2 episodes of The Age Grouper: the Chrissie Wellington episode or Plan Your Year from 2009.
I wasn't feeling much like using my brain to plan anything so Chrissie won.


What a pick! The majority of the podscast is a discussion/Q&A with Chrissie at Runner's High 'N Tri in Chicago.




Chrissie



Me



Turns out I have a lot in common with the 3-time Ironman World Champion!!

1-we are both female

2-we both love triathlon

3-we both competed in our first triathlon with a borrowed bike...

4-...that borrowed bike was heavy!



"my first triathlon was a sprint and I did it on a borrowed bike. It looked like a bumble bee-it was black and yellow. I still, still have it-I can do bench presses with it, it weighs that much! Umm, and I had the toe clip pedals and my running shoes. And um, the laces came undone and and the running shoe laces got caught up in the crank and I did a very ungainly and ladylike dismount onto the tarmac so that was the first race"--Chrissie describing her first sprint triathlon 

Listening to Chrissie's stories about her first days of triathlon just made the time fly by and before I knew it I was at the turn around point of my planned run. I was feeling SO good and enjoying the day so it was ONWARD. I then headed down to Fortune's Rocks to run some more.



One thing came through loud and clear while listening to Chrissie speak-not only is she a champion in triathlon but she is a champion for the sport and for the people--cheering on age groupers after racing the course herself, chatting with fans, signing autographs. Her passion for triathlon, her humanitarian efforts and her use of her fame to bring awareness to the causes close to her speak volumes about her character. Her positive attitude is contagious and you can almost hear her smile when she speaks.

So hearing how hard she pushes herself during training sessions certainly made ME want to push myself a bit harder-not only today but all days. My planned 5/6 mile run turned into a hair over 9 miles (9.12) and it was a wonderful run. I enjoyed the day, the beach and the fresh air. I learned a lot about an amazing professional triathlete and I learned a little about myself too!

So even though the week did not end up as I had planned, it was a fine end-sick and all.

I hope your week was a good one!

Where did you find motivation?