Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Fight for your right to TRAIN

Last night the darling Hubby and I ended up having a heated discussion. What started out as a simple statement/question turned into something much bigger.

As most of you know by now, I am a stay at home Mommy and I work a couple nights a week at the YMCA. I usually wake up early, early (3-4 am) to fit in workouts, I go to the Y in the mornings while the kids club is open so Lola can play while I workout. I workout later in the day when hubby or my parents and/or in-laws can help out with Lola. I schedule my long workouts on the weekends so she can be with hubby.

Monday things did not workout for me to train and I get was disappointed that I did not get to fit in my trainer ride or swim. Yesterday appeared to be another day that my training plans would fall through but alas, it worked out for me to workout!

Hubby made a comment about me being in a better mood than I was the previous day and then said "you must have been able to workout this morning". True, I did. And true again, I can get grumpy if I don't get my workouts in. Then he dropped THIS little bomb on me:

"What are you gonna do when you HAVE to go back to work full time and you can't workout ALL DAY LONG".

Whoa. What? What the frankincense does THAT mean??

Workout ALL>Day>LONG??

Do you have any inkling as to what I really do all day? You think I am on some sort of self-centered vacation here? I wish I could train all day long but alas, I do not.

At first, I just kind of laughed it off and said that I know plenty of ladies who juggle full time jobs, family, and training without issue. Some are even training for marathons, Ultra's and Ironman distance events.
Then he says:
"So...when do YOU think you are going to be able to workout when your working?" (sarcastically!!)

I attempted to maintain my composure.
I will workout in the mornings, like I do now. I will workout at night, after work. I will fit it in on my lunch breaks. I have weekends. It will happen--because I want it to.

We went back and forth a bit about this and that, then it started to turn ugly and I will spare you the details. The conversation ended up being "put on hold" for the time being because we were getting a little too passionate about our version of how events would unfold.

Yes, we were arguing about events that will take place 2-3 years down the road when Lola goes to school.
Yes, we were debating how much "personal" time each of us was entitled to while raising a family and working full time.
Yes, we both had valid points.
No, he did not seem to think I could do it.

But you know what. I believe that if you want something bad enough, you make it happen. I have zero doubt that I will find time to train for ANY EVENT I want to complete--even working full time.
And speaking of working full time, who ever said I would return to working in medicine? I could very well be on my way to completing my PT Certification and eyeballing other training certifications down the road. SO maybe my FULL TIME JOB will be training and workout. Ha! Take that!!

I know many of you work, take care of your family and still find time to train. I would love to hear from you. Please share with me how you fit it all in!!

Team_vote_2011On another note, the voting is up on Dailymile for the 2011 Team. I even saw one of my bloggy friends there (Hello Barb!! You got one of my votes!)

I would really, really love to be a part of this and if you could please take a moment of your time to cast your vote for me :)

If you are not a Dailymile member, you would have to sign up to vote. If you are not using Dailymile now, I highly recommend it. It is user friendly, you can meet all kinds of athletes from all over the world. I love the daily dose of inspiration and motivation!!

My video is the one with the name Jen S. under it and it is a picture of me with 3 friends the beach showing off our triathlon body markings on our arms.


Caratunk Girl said...

Hey Jen. I am not a mom, so I can't speak to this...but I find that people who do not neeed to work out don't get it. By need, I mean mentally. And I don't know a single mom anywhere that has the time to "workout all day" what planet is he on? Even my hackles went up on that one. If you could workout all day, why would you get up at 4am to workout? Why wouldn't you have a more leisurely wake up? I have no doubt that you will get your time in once Lola goes to school. After everything else you have accomplished, working, being a Plus what is the point of stressing out about something 3 yrs down the road anyway, right? Good luck on DM!! Cheering for you!

Corey said...

Hey Jen, First off, I love your blog and your DM video submission!
Second, I am one of those people you speka of. I work full time, we have a 6 daughter, a 4 year old daughter, and one on the way. I started running in April 2010, and I am training for my first marathon (April of 2011, way to celebrate fitness anniversary lol).
Simply put, you are 1000% right, and I am living proof that it can be done, while maintaining full time work, parent, and spouse time, but it isn't easy adjusting. But once you do, it will be effortless.
The key for me is I get up at 3:45 for my runs and workouts. I have run in 110 degrees, and I have run in -11 degrees on ice (I posted that video on my DM page, and my blog). This time is especially advantageous on Saturdays, which are my long/endurance runs. I can get my time in, while not feeling guilty because I am taking time away from my family.
Another key to this is support. My wife and daughters support me, and realize that sometimes it just means "Daddy needs a nap" lol. I make no bones about it, I may run by myself, but I NEVER run alone. Their love keeps me going.
Also, I do things with them to include them in my training. The girls will workout, or do a small run with me sometimes, my wife has done her first 5K, and works out too (obviously not as intense because she is pregnant).
Have faith, and keep your head up, Jen. I am here to tell you, it not only can be done, I AM DOING IT!
Once Hubby sees your dedication and passion in your actions, and not the words, he will be not only your numebr one fan, he will be your number one supporter.
Sorry I went on so long :)
God Bless
-Corey, your DM, buddy :)

Unknown said...

Sounds like quite the debate. I work full time as a speech therapist and I have a 2 1/2 and 4 year old. They go to daycare one hour longer than I work so I have that time to work out. My husband is also a god send and pushes me out the door on the weekends to get workouts in.

I have completed 3 1/2 marathons, 1 full marathon, and I am training for a 1/2 ironman right now (with hubby!).

You are right. If you want to do it, you will. It all comes down to being super dedicated and organized.

It can be done. I know you will be just fine.

Cyndi C. said...

I agree, Jen, that you will make time for the things that are important to you. When my kids were little, I got up at 5 to run before they got up. When they started school, I began working pt. time, still got up at 5 so I could work then do volunteering at their school. It was all important to me to get it done. People would say "oh, you only work pt. time, so you have time to work out." That was their excuse NOT to work out. But you are a strong woman, I know you will figure it out and get it all done!
Good Luck! From Cyndi C. on DM

Katie said...

I don't work full-time yet, just 24 hours a week. I'm lucky in that my work place has a gym. I run during my lunch break. I'm also lucky because my work is flexible so I can take a longer lunch and either come in a little earlier or stay a little later. I have a treadmill at home use that to get in my runs when I'm at home. I have 3.5 year old and a 5 month old. I keep both with me when I run. The baby usually sleeps in the swing and the toddler plays with toys while I run. If I have to run long I do it on the weekend when the hubby is around, but I always feel guilty about long runs (even though I make sure he has time to do the stuff he wants). It's not an issue with him, it's my own issue. Currently I'm training for a marathon, and I think it's working out fine. The long runs are the hardest part because it's a big chunk of time all at once...

Rae said...

I work full-time and I have 3 young kids...all under 4. I workout early mornings. I have to be to work at 8, so I get up at 5 and head to the Y for their 5:30 am classes. It's what I need to do to get my workouts in. There is no way I can workout after work...unless it would be after the kids are in bed. I love working out in the mornings. I get my workout finished and feel great the rest of the day. On the weekends I workout when my boys are napping. Once it's nice out though, I will go for runs after my kids are down for the night. You just gotta figure out how to make it work. I'm with you...there is no way I'd quit working out. That's why I get up so early so I can workout and have my "me" time.

KovasP said...

It's hard for me to appreciate all my wife does during the day, even though I know she's working her butt off.

GetBackJoJo said...

I worked full time as a teacher, have three kds, and I also trained for IMLP.
(of course I nearly lost it.):)
Now I work from home, but I still have three kids and I am still training for IM.
You have to really want it, and you do have to fight for it, but you can do it.
He has know idea the minutiae that fills your hours during the day. I do.

Unknown said...

Thanks for everyone's feedback. You dont' have to be a Mom to balance everything.

The point I am trying to convey to darling hubby is that IF you want it you CAN make time for it. Just like he has time for the things HE likes-

I just want him to see that OTHERS-Moms/Dads/Etc are doing it every day!!

Keep the examples coming!

Unknown said...

Oh and I want to add, it is not that he does not support me or my training. HE DOES!! He just does not think that I will be able to juggle it all once I return to work full time :)

I guess he doesn't really know me huh???? LOL

Courtney said...

I am a full time working mama and fit in all the mama/duties, chores, suppers and still workout. I have to be very organized to do it though. Our daughter has been a "gym baby" since she was 5 weeks old. My husband and I go together after work 2-3 days a week and on Saturdays. We all go together and it works for us. Usually on the weekends, we go over the upcoming week and decide which nights we want to go and stick with it. If you want to fit in your workouts, you will find a way!

Emz said...

JL. You. Freaking. Rock. You. Amaze. Me. Daily.

Ummm how'd you get the photo of the pita & I during our very own conversation last night?! The picture doesn't show it but his breath smelled really bad too.

Melissa Cunningham said...

wow,my hubs and i had almost the same conversation a few days ago....
BUT what i can say is that before we moved,i worked full time,andi still made time for workouts,commpeting in figure shows,5k races,road races,etc without compromising family time.
during that time my husband worked nights and i worked days,he also played semi pro football and was away on the weekends except for sunday it was pretty much me and the kids.i still managed to wake up at 4am and do cardio on the home TM. my work had a small fitness area and i worked out during my lunch hour.what i didnt get in at the work "gym" i did at home after the kids were asleep,or sometimes i even incorperated the kids with fitness. many time me my kids would do home workouts in the living room. during contest prep,i would do extra cardio at night after the kids were in bed,and if i needed to get a long run in,i did it late at night as well,but prefer to take the kids with me in the stoller. on ocasion i would take the kids with me on the weekends to the gym if it was raining or bad weather. if the weather was nice,i would take the kids in the doubl seater and get in a long long run. even now that i dont work full time anymore,and now that prep is in full swing-i get my cardio in early in the am and after the kids are in bed at night. as of now,the girls are in child watch at the gym when i am there.(oldest in school)but i am thinking about making my gym time 4am again bc my girls keep getting sick!
since triathlon training and 1/2 marathon training are in effect,i do need at least an extra hour or so on the weekends to get that in. during that time hubs watches the kids.
what i have learned is that in order to balance family and fitness and a career,you have to first,have that desire (which you do!!!)and have great family support,with open communication and the ability to compromise.
where there is a will,there is a way!!!
if you want it bad enough,you will find a way to make it all work out-there may be a few compromises,but in the end jen,you can and will make it happen!!!!
its not as hard as some ppl may think,it just takes waking up a little bit earlier and drinking a bit more coffee?
anyways,sorry for the long comment!

Unknown said...

Melissa-your post is the perfect example I was trying to make to hubby-WOMEN do it all the time. You MAKE the time and you didn't have hubby around much to help.
I have no problem getting up at 3am to bike an hour NOW and I don't have to get up!!

The thing he was trying to say too is that yeah, he helps out a lot now but I should not expect him to get out of work at night and then I take off for 2 hours at the gym. I was trying to get thru to him that it won't be like that.

Katie said...

wow, this is a tough topic - and i have no experience or helpful information here, but i do know that you will both work to find the balance you need in your lives. it just takes time to figure it out.

keyalus said...

I work full time, have a 16 month old, and still fit in 6 workouts a week. I have to work out in AM before work - most evenings are not an option. I get a longer workout in on the weekends when my husband and I alternate days "off."

I think you can do anything if you put your mind to it. You have will likely have to let some things slide - like laundry or having a super clean house though. I find it difficult to have to be gone all day (7:30AM-6PM) and then be mommy as soon as I walk through the door. Mommy has to cook dinner and give baths and still go to bed early so she can get up at 5AM.

My schedule works fine for me with CrossFit and training for half-marathons. I probably wouldn't train for a full at this time though because that exhausted me and I just don't want to be that tired.

Jason said...

I am currently unemployed but I go about my day as if I have a job. That means up at 3-4a (just like you) and get my training in. Then I finish up my training in front of the TV with my family at night. Sometimes I go at lunch, but I do it all as if I am working b/c looking for work is a full time job.

Now, I believe I have found the perfect job for me that incorporates my 15 years of marketing experience with my passion for endurance sports. Maybe I will get paid to train after all. It can happen.

BJ said...

Hi Jen: I'm not sure if your husband works out regularly or not, but my experience is that people who train or exercise on a near daily basis get it, and people who don't, well, don't. It's always challenging trying to balance your life especially when your daughter is so little, but it's so necessary to get that workout in. Spouses can often say things that are infuriating. My approach has always been to say, calmly, "what is it that is bothering you about the time I spend exercising?" and then see what happens. Its not easy. If it was, no one would ever get divorced! Love the blog. Keep up the good work.


Anonymous said...

I am a single mom and I don't work full-time but I do juggle pediatricians, eye doctors, cardiologists, physical therapy and speech therapy appointments for my special needs daughter (she was born with half her heart, had surgery but the bad heart stopped some of her body from developing properly as well). I handle it by getting up early (as you do), working out indoors (even if I'd rather be outside), enjoying allowing my daughter to "workout" with me when I do pilates or yoga (she looks really cute), working out during naps and after bedtime. Where there's a will, there's a way. You seem to have a lot of will so I am confident you can find a way. Many places now have fitness centers on site or offer club memberships to employees so breaks and lunchtime would also be a great time to squeeze a workout in.

LifeasKristina said...

YIKES! Stay positive and don't let it get to you-you said you're looking at 2-3 years down the road. A lot can happen between now and then:)

Anonymous said...

Just linked here from the RLAM blog and saw your question. I'm a mom of two girls, 4 and 7. I also work TWO jobs, five days a week with two nights thrown in there as well. It totals up to about 40 hours, maybe a little under. I ran my first marathon last fall (and my schedule was actually tougher then--I just recently switched to working at home two days a week, which I think will give me more flexibility for training). Anyhow, it's a constant juggling act, but I manage to get my training in. Now, I was only doing four days a week for marathon training, but that is mostly due to my extreme dislike of getting up early. ;) I would run on my lunch hour or after work (easier in the summer to get out just as the girls are going to bed) or on the weekends. Sometimes I get creative, running home from the pool in the summer while the rest of the family drives home. Somehow it happens, though I didn't get in nearly the number of miles a lot of other marathoners do/did.

My Life said...

I don't have kids, but when I was working (and doing everything housework/housewife related) my key was organization and sticking to a schedule. That said, your "Vote Team" pic really popped out at me. Team. Being on the same page about fitness/training and its priority in our lives is huge with me & my husband. We make it happen for each other... which can be hard when we have limited free time together (he's military). (Believe you-me, a few years ago when I was fat, didn't workout, & worked crazy hours, I'd get my panties in a bunch when he'd want to spend a free morning at the gym instead of spending time with me &/or helping me with chores. Took some time for me to fully embrace "his" priority of being healthy. :)) I'd say, just keep communicating like you've started doing and hopefully you'll settle on a schedule that works well for you and your team!

Big Daddy Diesel said...

I voted for you