Wednesday, September 15, 2010

The same road...100lbs later

Now that Fall is knocking on the door, my early morning runs are getting darker and darker. Ahhh, I do have a rather active imagination and having been afraid of the dark most of my life, these early runs are challenging for me in more ways than one! BUT nothing gets you moving faster than the thought of some grizzly beast coming out at you from the woods! Running to the sounds of nature, the tapping of my feet on the pavement and the whirling, random thoughts swirling around my head is music enough for me on these early mornings.

This morning I got out on a very early and rather nice 8 mile run under the stars. While out I came up to a route I used to "run" when I started on my journey to a healthy life. Now mind you, I was about 100lbs heavier and my "run" at that time could probably be considered a fast walk...In the quiet of the morning I spent time reflecting on just how much of a battle running was for me when I started. I hated it. It hurt. It was hard. My lungs would burn. But for some sick, strange, twisted reason-I liked it and I wanted to be a runner. A real runner.

Today I recalled the first time I ran this particular 1.5 mile stretch of road. How difficult it was but how happy it made me that I did it. I felt like stopping a bunch of times but I remember thinking "just one more telephone pole" and how I would break it down into pieces. Then when I got the turn-around point I would ask myself "why quit now? just keep going". Each step was a battle and a triumph.
I still feel that way some days-that the next step takes thought and planning. My runs may be longer in distance and a bit faster these days but my determination has not wavered, it has only grown stronger. I am more comfortable pushing myself-mentally and physically. But I would say my perspective on running certainly has changed...I really do love it and I guess I can call myself a "real" runner now (whatever that means!)
Running gives me center. It gives me time to me and time to think and plan. It brings me joy. I run against the best competition too-Myself. I can always strive for better. I can go longer. I can go faster. I can always find ways to be better. I guess that is another thing I love about running. It's not about beating Jane or John Doe. It's not about winning the race. It's about beating ME. And making ME better.
What started out simply as a way to burn calories to lose weight has become something so much more to me. From running I discovered a lot about myself and others around me. I have met some amazing people.
So running this same road today 100lbs lighter I thought back to those days with a smile. I gave myself a pat on the back for reaching the goals I set for myself in the Fall of 2008 and I gave myself a kick in the butt to reach the goals I have set for Fall 2010.
Happy running :)


Andrew Opala said...

Excellent post that reveals the inner workings of your psyche!

Teamarcia said...

Awesome! You've come such a long way!

Emz said...

This is so inspiring.

Completely incredible.

You rock.

Aimee said...

Love this post! Congrats on meeting your goals and working at reaching the new ones! :)

Lindsey said...

I think Emz said it better than I could. You're awesome.

chris mcpeake said...

great post. very inspiring

Melissa Cunningham said...

again,another wow factor here chica!!!! GREAT way to meet and exceed yor goals girl!! 100lbs lighter? really????
you are truley an inspiration!!!

Miruna said...

reading this post was like reading my own thoughts! Amazing!

Unknown said...

Found your blog through "Runs For Cookies". I'm about 90 lbs. overweight (lost 13 lbs. already!) at this point and running is HARD! I feel like my legs/feet are so heavy! I'm doing the Ease to 5k program and it's just so nice to read your thoughts about how it was for you when you were overweight vs. how it is now. You're before/after pics are such an inspiration and it's blogs like yours and others that keep me going! Thanks for sharing!

C said...

Hi! Wow, you are such an inspiration. I found your blog through Run Faster Mommy and I am so happy that I did. I am about 100 lbs overweight and let me tell you, it has been a struggle to try to stay the course. I just got a new bike so I will use that to continue on my weight loss journey. Your before and now pictures are amazing and have given me hope. Thank you!