I have been fighting a BIG mental vs. physical battle the last several weeks~it all started with this nagging lower leg pain that threw a giant monkey wrench in my running for about 4 weeks. Then finally when THAT irritating pain subsided I was able to run 20 miles in the Run for the Fallen, which my body really was not ready for. Now I have been experiencing some foot pain post Run for the Fallen -and since I play a Doctor on TV, I have gone ahead and diagnosed myself with fascia inflammation from overuse (running 20 miles when the previous 4 weeks my max run had been in the 7-8 mile category).
This morning I got up early to run on the treadmill while Lola slept and what was supposed to be 5 miles of speedwork turned into 3 miles of frustration. And not FAST frustration. I guess since my pace was not where I thought it should be I threw in the towel. I quit. I don't quit!! Why did I allow myself to quit today? Yes, it was hot. Yes, I was annoyed with my Garmin (trying to figure out how to use it for a TM run). Yes, I should remember that my training has not been on target. But I let my ego dictate this morning's run, not my logic. Stop it with the temper tantrum already!!
Since I started working out and running I have never had to deal with any kind of physical set back or injury and it has been really hard for me to accept these physical limitations. I have been on a road of constant improvement over the last 18 months so right now it's killing me to feel like I have been pushed back MONTHS in training. My confidence has been shaken and that is a very scary thing for me.
I have so much on the line right now and I don't want to feel like I have failed. I could easily take the pressure off myself by not expecting anything performance wise at these races on the schedule but then do I risk not pushing myself 110%??
This frustration has certainly been seen in my eating habits of late too! Pizza, ice cream, chips and Oreos. Oreos?? Are you kidding me? I don't EAT this kind of garbage. I have worked way to hard to start slipping back into old habits. I know, I know...it's all emotional eating and while it is important that I recognize that it is more important that I deal with the frustration instead of feeding it.
So I gave myself a good kick in the behind and got the train back on track yesterday. This clean eating gal is back and done being dirty. I restocked the house with all my favorite clean eating staples (eggs, oatmeal, quinoa, Greek yogurt, veggies, veggies, veggies). I am going back to weekly weigh-ins on Fridays to hold myself accountable.
I have a 5k race on Monday 9/6 and while I was hoping for a PR for this race, I guess I will just have to suck it up and just do my best and disregard any PR's for the time being.
I'm getting back to basics with my training and eating.
Check back on Friday for my progress report on week one.