Monday, April 8, 2013

What The...???

WARNING: Some images are not suitable for all readers. Today's post is PG13


Ok, so I got sucked into Words with Friends last night and well, in my quest to see if a word was "real" I stumbled across this.....the first WHAT THE??? of the day.

JAZZLE YOUR VAG



Vajazzling

Vaginal adornment?! I heard about this a little while ago and thought it was a joke. Its real and Im convinced a lot of chicks are going to add this experience to their goddamn bucket lists. Apparently the procedure costs $50.00 + at a spa... Eff that if it becomes popular enough maybe Ill just open a vajazzle shop in my garage. My price would be $9.99 - using quality rhinestones and my glue gun Ill clitter up your c section scar so nicely youll be the envy of every hooker in the trailer park. Hmm... might do a little penazzling myself but instead of bling Ill use sharks teeth.

Come on! Bling for your bojingo?! This is the worst idea of life. We over here at the Artificial Vagina ({}) know a little about ladies parts and promise you that if you get this itll just look like you have shiny crabs

~Frank Breaker


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In other What The...??? news, luckily I did not pee in my pants during the run Saturday as I would have surely suffered another Crotchsicle* episode like I did at the MidWinter Classic 10 Miler. Oh so this was posted on the Race the Runways page, if you thought I was exaggerating about the run, I wasn't. 


*crotchsicle-when a tiny bit of leaked urine freezes onto your CWX compression tights leaving a beautiful pattern of icicles on your crotch because it is too freaking cold out.
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Lots of sweaty training this weekend and once again, I am suffering from GSC.
What is GSC?
Garmin Strap Chafing.

This happened in Florida too. The 910 strap is so sharp, it literally digs in and slices up my skin! 
In the top photo you can actually see the white scar from the first one...
OUCH.

What the....
perhaps it is the bony part of my sternum not really helping matters...




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MORE What The...

I discovered this delicious little tidbit of news from a year ago from my friend, Leslie on her FB feed.

File photo of Nutella on a shelf (© Alberto Pellaschiar/AP)


Nutella pays $3M for totally making us think it's healthy



4/27/2012
Luscious Nutella is taking a beating today as its scrumptious reputation goes down the tubes in a cascade of hazelnut and chocolate deliciousness. In an unsurprising development, confectionary maker Ferrero has agreed to pay out $3 million in two class-action lawsuit settlements to suckers, er, consumers who actually believed the company's sugar-coated ads claiming that Nutella was a healthy food suitable to ply children with before school. That cash might be best spent teaching folks with an insatiable sweet tooth to read, since the nutrition label clearly lists the treat's 200 calories per serving, along with its 11 grams of fat -- the equivalent of a 3 Musketeers candy bar. Who knows, maybe they're devouring those for breakfast, too.
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So what's making you shake your head today and go "What the....???"


19 comments:

Big Daddy Diesel said...

Ok, well, wow, ummm, ok, so I learned something new today!! Interesting, to say the least Ummm.... If I saw 'that', I would probably go "What the fudge is that?!?!?!" and probably jump 10 feet backwards.

Lauren Bogenberger said...

Ugh I have the same chronic Garmin strap chaffing! Neosporin seems to work well in between sessions. Need to be more habitual with the Trislide!

Missy said...

I saw the Nutella lawsuit. Ridiculous! We should be able to counter sue for subjecting us to so much stupidity.
Ridiculous.
My garmin chest strap gives me marks too. I think at this point it is just callused and scared because it seems to be getting better over the years.

Jen Small said...

@BDD, are you referring to the vajazzle or my chafe?? lol

or perhaps the 50mphh winds??

Colleen said...

Oh.my.gawd that was awesome! :) Vajazzling. Wow.

I never had an episode where I didn't chafe with a HR Monitor. My MIL actually found one that didn't have the plastic part and would sync with her Garmin. I will have to ask her about it.

Jen Small said...

@Colleen funny part is, it's not the plastic, the edge of the fabric strap is so sharp!! just a little sweat (even with TriSlide) and it slices into my skin. ouch...

Big Daddy Diesel said...

The vajazzle!!! I am speechless to be honest with that

Penny said...

I am with Big Daddy Diesel on this one. The vajazzel is way out there.

Nutella I tasted this once and I'm sorry but I thought the taste was awful. not a fan of Nutella

ONEHOURIRONMAN said...

Triatlete Magazine having a tough time to find people other than me to write letters to the editor

Jamie said...

I'm going to use my class action lawsuit money to buy more nutella.

CautiouslyAudacious said...

Haa Haa! You are cracking me up! No jazzling of any sorts for me thanx... :-) I get GSC all the time! Hubs gives me a hard time about it but I tell him you never know when it's going to happen and I just forget to use bodyglide on every single workout...

Jen Small said...

Jamie--you should totally use some of that money to get Dazzled too!!

World's Greatest Something said...

Sorry, but I can't resist. If it's Vajazzling for the ladies, what is it that you're suggesting Jamie get?
Pezazzle?

Mike said...

Cracking up at the vajazzle and scheming a way to set up a scrabble game with my wife, pick those letters ahead of time, play the word then try to act like everyone knows what that is :-). Problem is I couldn't keep a straight face...

Niki said...

This is hilarious! You are cracking me up!

Frickin' Fabulous at 40 said...

Nutella not being healthy has me saying "What the ...?!?"

Marnee A said...

so um vajazzling huh? Can't say I knew about that one...yikes!

The best thing I have found for chaffing straps is aquafina, for some reason it works better then glide or neosporin for me. I have just accepted the fact I will forever have scaring from them...but that's the new cool right???

Scott said...

LMAO!!

Papildai sportui internetu said...

Of course Nutella is not healthy, butif you eat it only sometimes and not very much - I think this is not a dissaster..