Fear

May 1st is around the corner and my part of the world is starting to wake from it's winter slumber. The air is getting warmer, the sun sits higher in the sky; the living things around me are starting to turn green and burst forth with new life. I am feeling the same as the budding magnolia tree in my yard, Im ready to embrace the sunshine and bloom. 

On the first day of this year, I talked about not needing a NEW YEAR to make new changes in your life and I want to remind you of that today. Here's that first entry of 2015 with a bit of summary:

Today is the first day of 2015. Lots of people will make resolutions to do this or do that.
Get organized. 
Lose weight.
Get a new job. 
Something.

Lots will follow that plan for a few weeks...or even a few months. Most will fall off and go back to what they know. Some will be successful with what their goals. Others will build habits that last a lifetime and inspire others to do the same.

I have a secret to tell you. YOU DO NOT NEED A NEW YEAR TO DO DIFFERENT.
Guess what you need? A new moment. A new day. A new hour. A new week. That's all you need. You can decide to make a positive change in your life ANYTIME you choose.

This past year has been one of learning and growing. At times, confusion and hurt. Loss.
I felt lost a few times...only to find my way back to "normal" as I always do. I am a fighter. A warrior.

I look back on my early days of change (which happened in September, by the way...) and I am so proud of myself for sticking with it...and I know that a new year wasn't needed. only a new attitude.

And now that I face 2015 with honest eyes...I have to let go of things that do not serve me. Of things that do not bring me joy and embrace scary change. being uncomfortable. New starts and new relationships.

It's easy to get stuck in comfortable just for the sake of being comfortable but when you take a deep, hard look at things...are you truly happy. or just in statis? homeostasis is a very easy place to be.

It's hard to be vulnerable. OPEN. abject to being hurt.

and I guess that is where I want to put myself.

But putting myself in the way of "harm" will also bring me to absolute happiness. JOY. Pleasure.
Being...

So I open my heart to "what ifs" and the unknown. The mystery of what lies ahead and possibility of being hurt in the process.

So...live fearless. Don't be scared of what the unknown can bring. Embrace the new. Work on yourself daily. There is no rest for improvement.

______________________________________

One challenge I created for myself in 2015 is to try and live a fearless life. Making the harder choices, not the easy ones. It's been a learning experience and it has opened my eyes to many things. 

It has also forced me into situations where facing my fears was the only option. It is so liberating to to FACE FEAR and come out the other side stronger. Braver. A survivor. I have already conquered SO MUCH...this final chapter of metamorphosis is one I embrace. The journey is never ending and I continue to grow and learn. 

Fearlessly - 


Fear in itself
Will reel you in and spit you out
Over and over again
Believe in yourself
And you will walk
Fear in itself
Will use you up and break you down
like you were never enough
I used to fall, now I get back up.

I'm up here
I'm looking at the way down there
I'm staring through the I don't care
It's staring back at me

The beauty is
I'm learning how to face my beast
Starting now to find some peace
Set myself free

What fears are holding you back?