Monday, April 8, 2013

What The...???

WARNING: Some images are not suitable for all readers. Today's post is PG13

Ok, so I got sucked into Words with Friends last night and well, in my quest to see if a word was "real" I stumbled across this.....the first WHAT THE??? of the day.



Vaginal adornment?! I heard about this a little while ago and thought it was a joke. Its real and Im convinced a lot of chicks are going to add this experience to their goddamn bucket lists. Apparently the procedure costs $50.00 + at a spa... Eff that if it becomes popular enough maybe Ill just open a vajazzle shop in my garage. My price would be $9.99 - using quality rhinestones and my glue gun Ill clitter up your c section scar so nicely youll be the envy of every hooker in the trailer park. Hmm... might do a little penazzling myself but instead of bling Ill use sharks teeth.

Come on! Bling for your bojingo?! This is the worst idea of life. We over here at the Artificial Vagina ({}) know a little about ladies parts and promise you that if you get this itll just look like you have shiny crabs

~Frank Breaker

In other What The...??? news, luckily I did not pee in my pants during the run Saturday as I would have surely suffered another Crotchsicle* episode like I did at the MidWinter Classic 10 Miler. Oh so this was posted on the Race the Runways page, if you thought I was exaggerating about the run, I wasn't. 

*crotchsicle-when a tiny bit of leaked urine freezes onto your CWX compression tights leaving a beautiful pattern of icicles on your crotch because it is too freaking cold out.

Lots of sweaty training this weekend and once again, I am suffering from GSC.
What is GSC?
Garmin Strap Chafing.

This happened in Florida too. The 910 strap is so sharp, it literally digs in and slices up my skin! 
In the top photo you can actually see the white scar from the first one...

What the....
perhaps it is the bony part of my sternum not really helping matters...

MORE What The...

I discovered this delicious little tidbit of news from a year ago from my friend, Leslie on her FB feed.

File photo of Nutella on a shelf (© Alberto Pellaschiar/AP)

Nutella pays $3M for totally making us think it's healthy

Luscious Nutella is taking a beating today as its scrumptious reputation goes down the tubes in a cascade of hazelnut and chocolate deliciousness. In an unsurprising development, confectionary maker Ferrero has agreed to pay out $3 million in two class-action lawsuit settlements to suckers, er, consumers who actually believed the company's sugar-coated ads claiming that Nutella was a healthy food suitable to ply children with before school. That cash might be best spent teaching folks with an insatiable sweet tooth to read, since the nutrition label clearly lists the treat's 200 calories per serving, along with its 11 grams of fat -- the equivalent of a 3 Musketeers candy bar. Who knows, maybe they're devouring those for breakfast, too.

So what's making you shake your head today and go "What the....???"

Sunday, April 7, 2013

Wind & Whoopie Pies

About a month ago, signed up for the Race the Runways half marathon and signed the hubbster up for the 5k and figured we'd have a fun day of running together and I would just do whatever Coach told me to do regarding the run (race or train) and Casey could get another race under his belt.

What I liked about this race was the medal.
race swag, sweet medal!
What I also liked was that it is hosted on the (now defunct) Brunswick Naval Air Base and a portion of the run in completed on the runway of the base. How ironic that this would be what I liked least about this race...

Initially the weather was predicting 40's and rain. Not ideal for running. Then the forecast changed to 30's and sunny. Then the day before cold and windy.
For once, the meteorologist was right...but it least it wasn't raining, right?
On the road

Coach had a pretty specific plan laid out for the run and it was indeed a training run on tap, mostly aerobic heart rate zones. So definitely just a training day for me!

Casey, on the other hand, was heading into this race with goals to beat his last 5k time.

My friend, Katelyn, was going to running too so we made plans to meet up there. She was also running as a training day too so we thought if our HR zones and pace worked out, we could run together!

Honestly, it was so cold and windy (22* and sustained winds of 20mph with gusts up to 50mph) if I had not just driven an hour here, if I did not want that cool airplane medal and if I did not have Katelyn to run with, there is NO WAY IN HECK I would have run in those conditions for a training day.

In the warmth of the car--no long warm up run would happen!

Casey wanted a good warm up for his 5k (can't blame him!) so he said good bye to us and headed into the frigid wind and cold...while we hit out in the car for a while longer!

Finally, we got out and did a little jogging, a little huddling, and a little shivering waiting for the gun to go off!! I realized that I left my iPod in the car (oh well) and was glad once again to have company to run today!

Video of the start, you can hear the wind!

The 5k and the Half starts together and then we split off in different directions. The first bit of the run was fine, the wind was to our backs and then about a mile and a half in...there it was.


Cold, bitter, hard blowing wind. I just watched my heart rate and adjusted my pace accordingly, keeping things in check. Once we got to the tarmac (runway) that's when things just got downright silly. The giant wall of wind was just pushing against you! My heart rate shot up to the 150's even though I was barely running a 10 minute mile. The wind was stinging my face and a couple times, it made it kind of hard to breathe!

But we just kept chugging along, I'd check with Katelyn to make sure she was in her zones and I'd check mine. We hit the part where there is a double loop to run and you pass the aid stations with water, gel and gatorade. On the second loop, I walked the aid station to get in some fluids (I can't run and drink from a cup without spilling it...I did not want spillage all over me on this freezing day) and as I WALKED up to the volunteer to get a cup, he spilled the entire cup of Gatorade down the front of me, my entire right leg soaked. AWESOME. I really, really wanted a wet leg on this cold and windy day!! ha ha ha (not really) but whatever, it's not like  he did it on purpose.

Katelyn and I had a couple laughs over the weird mile markers because of the double loop (oh, mile 11 already...oh, no. Only mile 7...) and we were both pretty done with battling the cold and the wind by the time we were done with the loop and the last 2 miles did go by pretty quick.

Another friend, Mike, was there as a photographer and I got to see his smiling face on the course a couple times too. He was somewhere in that last 2 mile stretch and so Katelyn and I had to bust a move for some sweet pics! Can't wait to see those!

Finally, we could hear the PA system and cheers so we knew the finish wasn't far. I recall Katelyn saying something like "oh, it's not windy here" and I was like "shhhh, you are going to jinx us!" SURE ENOUGH. Two feet later--whammo!! more wind.

Round the corner and there it was...THE FINISH LINE. Honestly, this was an "slow and easy" run but I felt worked!! Running slow can be more painful than running fast (or at least that's how if felt on this day). I was never so happy to see a finish line and even contemplated doing cartwheels if I would not kick anyone in the head...

Awwwwsome! DONE :)

DONE! I got my cool medal, a solar blanket and a WHOOPIE PIE!!

The company, Wicked Whoopies, donated 1,200 whoopie pies to all finishers> YUMMMMO!

two cold girls!!

While I did not race yesterday, this was actually a really essential training day. Normally, I would not have run outside in those conditions. So yesterday was mental toughness training and character building day! I smiled the whole time and made sure to thank volunteers along the way. I am sure they were freezing their buns off out there!!

I will definitely return to this race next year and chase a new half mary PR!!
And enjoy another whoppie pie!!

HUGE CONGRATS to Mr. Small who ran his butt to another 5k PR, shaving another :33 off his time and in that wind!! 22:40 for a 7:17/pace. Nice work Casey!!